Perfectionism vs. Excellence

Is it possible to develop a healthy relationship with excellence without perfectionism?

This is a loaded topic. One that we will revisit in the future too, but here’s a start. Perfectionism and Excellence. These two words seem so similar but are incredibly different.

This is a challenge I battle to stay in a healthy place. I’ve seen what perfectionism does in my own heart to warp what God intended for good. It was not making me who I wanted to be. I’ve also been on the receiving end of others caught in the same trap, and it’s miserable on both sides. In design world, it’s a common issue. So I’m passionate about us wrestling with it.

At Watermark, we often say “Excellence honors God and inspires people.” Diligence is honorable and promotes great opportunity while laziness in our craft squanders it. But the answer isn’t perfectionism. Perfectionism strips us of joy and ability to accept reality and grow. It deprives us of the experience of His grace and the gift of deeper humility. Excellence is all over the Bible and creation. Our God is excellent in who He is and all that He does. He cares about details. He also gifts people with creativity and skilled ability to do good with excellence. Creativity woven with great craftsmanship draws people’s attention. Even the most bizarre art garners attention if it has great craftsmanship. Excellence clears the way to the message and can build curiosity to who is behind it. It cultivates wonder and invites people to know the greater Artist and be in awe of Him even in the details.

When Perfectionism is owning you, you keep excellence at arm’s length. You’ll procrastinate, live stressed, strain relationships, mis-prioritize, burn out, lose perspective, and honestly, miss seeing beauty. Your heart will cry “it’s never enough” instead of “He is enough for me.” Ironically, you may start to avoid excellence because of a sense of shame. Perfectionism longs to be associated with excellence, but in reality it is deeply disconnected from it. It only stirs comparison. So it’s important to develop a healthy relationship with excellence without letting perfectionism creep in and erode what God is doing through you.

Remember, God is FOR you. And that was true before you produced anything. So let Him shape your perspective.

So how do you know the difference?

Here are some signals of what each looks like. It’s not exhaustive. You may add more to the list. But this gets us started.

EXCELLENCE

  • aim to be whole, complete, mature

  • motivated by love

  • thoughtful

  • habit

  • does and is pleased with my best

  • spurs curiosity

  • takes risk

  • doesn’t give up when it’s tough

  • intentional

  • refines craft

  • focused on the goal/big picture

  • disciplined

  • focus / attention

  • surpassing the expected

  • embraces greatness

  • excels as a continued process

  • passionate

  • diligent

  • promotes freedom

  • promotes transparency

  • invites accountability

  • openness for feedback

  • openness to new ways of thinking

  • others-focused, encourages

  • promotes team relationships

  • nimble

  • communicates

  • centers on how it is accomplished

  • doesn’t like losing but still feels accepted

  • accepts failure and is motivated to learn from it

  • finds gain even when criticized

  • solution-oriented

  • embraces rest

  • grace-based

  • treats projects with dignity, humility, value, & sacrifice

PERFECTIONISM

  • obsessive

  • will only love faultless self

  • motivated by fear

  • deals with shame of not being good enough

  • Gives up quick or does overkill

  • Worry-driven

  • Never enough

  • focused on the weeds

  • promotes strongholds

  • promotes secrecy

  • self-focused

  • promotes isolation

  • promotes procrastination

  • closed off to feedback

  • leads to conflict

  • rigid

  • feels superior or inferior

  • irrational

  • my best isn’t good enough

  • dwells on mistakes

  • fears failure

  • defends when criticized

  • despising losing because of feeling unacceptable

  • centers on what is accomplished

  • seeks to control environment, situations, others

  • majors on the minors

  • lacks joy & creativity

  • competitive

  • imagines rejection

  • avoids / delays decisions

  • intolerant of self and others over time

  • hard to relax

  • argument-oriented, critical spirit

  • attracts to legalism

  • derives worth from performance

Pictures of Perfection

Let’s consider just a few pictures of perfection in the Bible.

  • Garden of Eden (the place where humanity enjoyed God without shame)

  • Christ (the perfect God Man)

  • New Heaven & New Earth (the beauty of the world He will make new)

  • God’s Law (It revealed the nature of God and the sacredness of who He is in His holiness. The law was a perfect tutor in helping us see the reality of our imperfection and great need for Him.)

  • God’s way (His way of dealing with humanity and offering the way that leads to life).

Perfectionism Loses Sight of Gospel

When we are consumed with perfectionism, we withdraw from drawing near to what’s truly perfect. We won’t want to draw near to such a perfect God. We won’t embrace His perfect Son. We’ll keep striving to try to earn our spot. And what’s sad is that we will miss seeing the beauty of what is excellent in His eyes. We will reject what He sees as good. We won’t grow to be mature, complete, and whole. Our view of our work will be striving instead of the grace displayed in growth and perseverance. A boss once asked me early on, “I’m glad you work hard, but I want to know why you’re working soooo hard.” He perceived something I hadn’t even considered. Pursuing excellence reflects a heart that has embraced the grace received freely in Jesus’s perfect sacrifice. It motivates us to know Him more and honor in Him in all we do.

EXCELLENCE EMBRACES THE Gospel

If instead of perfectionism, we choose to pursue excellence out of a heart at peace, we open the door wide to exploring a whole new world of possibilities. We see things we never thought possible when we started. Our hearts expands as we take in sunsets and think of Him. We develop rhythms. We become wonderfully curious as a kid noticing the details of a butterfly. We enjoy others even through imperfection. We uncover the fun again in being a part of what God’s creating in this world to lead people to Him. We’ll enjoy the fruit of His work, including His work in us. It will spur us on together as a community.

TWO QUESTIONS TO ASK

Today, what would perfectionism look like?

What would excellence look like?

I ask myself these two questions most days. It helps me keep excellence in view while being mindful of the pitfall of perfectionism. I’m aware of what perfectionism looks like in me, so it helps me be proactive in knowing where I will be tempted. And these two verses help me remember how to judge my work in pursuit of excellence.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” - Colossians 3:23

“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” - James 1:4

BETTER THINKING

As we work, we will trust Him deeper and start to have this mindset…

  • I Embrace Reality (no one is perfect)

  • I Press On (stay engaged, lean in, keep at it)

  • I Belong (Christ made me His own)

  • I Forget What’s Behind (no regrets / shame)

STARTER VERSES

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own,  because Christ Jesus has made me His own.” - Phillipians 3:12

“This God - His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him.” - 2 Samuel 22:31

“He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.” - 2 Samuel 22:35

Also read 2 Samuel 22:17-51, Psalm 18:16-50

QUESTIONS TO PONDER

1. Whose voice is loudest in your mind? Yours or God’s? How can you amplify His voice?

2. Read Psalm 50:2. In looking at God’s perfection/beauty, do you withdraw or draw near?

3. In Matthew 19, Jesus told the rich young ruler that if he wanted to be perfect, he had to give up the idol. What idol is keeping you from being whole?

4. Do you believe God is good? Do you believe others are for you? Do you believe what God can grow through you? Can you embrace the messiness of growth?

FIELDWORK

1. Ask each morning “What would perfectionism look like today? What would excellence look like?”

2. Review Graphic Checklist & invite feedback from others.

3. Choose to be transparent. Invite others to pray with you where you feel weak. Ask for help.

4. Pick a verse and stick it where you can see it in hard moments to begin to reorient your perspective. It can help provide a backdrop for you to process the emotions of the moment instead of reaching for perfectionism or self-sufficiency. 

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

  • Excellence over perfectionism 

  • Stay engaged in the ring

  • Put into practice

  • Pray for the target audience 

  • Abide with Jesus

  • Fall in love with transformation

  • Keep growing

When we value the mission and the ones God is reaching through us, it will motivate us to do our best work and keep growing in it. When we see the power of the gospel and preach it to ourselves everyday, we will desire to live lives in a manner worthy of the gospel. When we behold more of the beauty of who He is and His way with us, we will pursue what is excellent and praiseworthy without the weighted burden of perfectionism. Our heart will be to make Him known. We will allow Him to do some of His deepest work on the anvil. And there’s no telling what He is able to do through your life and through our lives together.

And another generation will be blessed.

Charla Dixon